Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Randomize
