as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize