Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
