can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
