i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
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