I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Randomize
