have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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