She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
