Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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