I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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