At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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