Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
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He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.