were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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