so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
