i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
