Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
