would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
