in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
