I feel like abortions should bother me more
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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