she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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