wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
