Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
