it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
