Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Randomize
