I puked a lego.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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