woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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