i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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