the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
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I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
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We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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