Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
