I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Randomize
