dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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