It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
