He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
