is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
