guys are not supposed to queef...right?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
