so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
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