I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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