i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
