It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
