I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
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