good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
