remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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