What did we do last night that was yellow?
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
