you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
