If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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