The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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