So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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