Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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