Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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