Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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