Jerry, you need to find god
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
what day is it and did you see me today?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize