If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
