i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
