just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Randomize
