I'm sorry my penis didn't work
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
You took a bar mat shot.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
