They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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