What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
