He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Randomize
