First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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