Just fell off a train. Bad.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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