hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
