If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
